This path I've chosen to take uses many adjectives. Exciting, mysterious, loving, warm, selfless, exhausting, frightening, and just plain difficult. I've kind of been staggering lately, tripping over myself as I look to the right, left, and directly behind me. Some days I just stand there, looking at everything around me, ignoring the Goal, the Light, the Way. Everything I've picked up along this path I've kind of held onto, and now I'm scared of letting them go. Some days I assess the state I'm in and think about quitting this hike, this race, this journey. Satan's getting really good at convincing me why I should abandon the Way. I'm stuck between letting go of my life and letting go of my journey. I can either abandon my life and hop onto this thrill ride that is following Christ, or I can abandon that ride and keep my life. I can't keep both. It's not that I'm doubting God's existence or anything, haha, that's a little too drastic. It's just that I'm not feeling the closeness we used to have. It's very quiet. And that's a factor that I've caused. This disease of selfishness has once again, for the quadrillionth time, infected me. And the thing I find hating the most is exactly what I am. I HATE IT!!!!!!
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Exactly how I feel. (I couldn't upload the picture, so I gave you a link)
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